Renegade Necrophile Princess' LiveJournal

Subject:	I hate Tori Amos because she gives cool people a reason to listen to girly crap music.
Time:	11:33 am.
Mood:	hungry.
Music:	The Offspring - What happened to you?.

Well, now that it's Friday I've decided to update you all once again on how the hell things are going in Pipkin's life.

Fine. Just dandy. I love the world. Things are wonderful. I could really use a fuck.

Other than that, I've noticed that I STILL do not have all the friends I need updated on my new LJ account.

ADD ME. --- >

pipkin.

In 26 days, I am leaving this fuckhole for Vancouver. This excites me. I will no longer have to deal with the pain of snow in april. Instead, I will have never-ending rainy days and thousands of canadians surrounding me on all sides. It does wonders for the paranoid and manic depressive, sadly I am neither.

Yesterday, I stayed up until about 4 am sitting around in Denny's with

jdn and

jamiekincheloe. When I sat down at the table getting ready to order, I glanced up around me to realize that at 3:30 am, there are a lot of shakey characters in Denny's. I mean..people right out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I would have felt comforted in that fact, except then I realized I was sitting in Denny's with two boys I met over the internet from Tennessee at 3:30 in the morning commenting on the chainsaw wielding psychos in one corner, and the guy who looked like a homeless Santa Claus in the other. Talk about taboo!

What's odd, is that the place was completely empty save for the smoking section, which we were in. Moral: People who smoke are not your friends. They will kill you.

Anyway..this is not the bullshit you guys wanna read about. I just know you're all dying for another party update. So, here it is:

PARTY UPDATE!

Pipkin's GREAT BIG APRIL 6TH PARTY OF DOOM begins tomarrow at a place called the Quality Inn.

The day will begin with me arriving there at around 3pm. I will sit around the lobby, pick my nose, make annoying beeping noises, and otherwise loiter at my place of employment until people will begin showing up.

I am setting a deadline for arrival at 6:30 pm. Anything later, and you may have to catch up with us while we are all wandering around aimlessly downtown searching for a place to eat.

After food is had, suggestions of fun are open. If

kellicjtiger is coming, I will bribe him with Doggy Treats to bring his Projecter machine thing so we can all watch a series of fun DVD's while drinking and playing yatzee. If that does not suit anyone's fancy, there is always the pool, and the HOT TUB!

Besides that, there are plenty of clubs to go to on a Saturday night..and I believe everyone is old enough for a stripper here.

We go to sleep (or at least get quiet) and everything fast-forwards to the morning of the 6th.

That morning until 10 am there is a breakfast to be had at the hotel, and then we are off to terrify the elderly at the local art museum.

Parking will be taken care of for those of you coming in from out of state, but I can only get so many parking passes. If there is trouble, we may have to have some cars parked in a different area, but I will make sure to ask where that is so that there is no confusion. Everyone will have a decent parking place...somewhere.

Rooms may also be in short supply. I have TWO for sure, but if there is a great deal of people sleeping over, some may have to sleep on the floor, but if it is possible, another room for a cheap rate could be acquired by me. It will cost 28 dollars, and I would need to be repaid for it, however.

If you are not opposed to sleeping on the floor, make sure you bring a sleeping bag. You will need it.

If anyone needs to get a hold of me for any reason on Saturday before the party, I will have stolen a cell phone by then.

I hope this is enough information for anyone, but if there are questions, please ask. I will attempt to answer in a timely fashion.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Sleek and dark with style,
All of my friends are jealous,
For I am ninja.

Timmy fell 22 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	I should be drawing.
Time:	12:36 am.
Mood:	lonely.
Music:	Thrill Kill Kult - Starlet Street (JJ's mix).

Tonight I am drinking beer for dinner in the hopes that it will tranquilize my pathetic ass to the point where I can actually fall asleep for a decent amount of time before being woken up by the howling banshees that are my family members.

I feel the slight need to apologize to all my viewers for the lack of anything remotely interesting in the past dozen or so posts that I have made. Recent lab experiments have left me lethargic, and unable to cope with normal, every day tasks. I have a staff of 13 hired to wipe my ass for me after using the shitter.

Interesting things that have happened within the past month:

Got drunk
Worked
Started reading a book
Worked
Got drunk
Slept
Alien abduction
Got drunk with aliens
Anal probing
Got drunk and sent home
Ninja training
Slept
Bought more beer
Worked
Worked summore
Slept with the entire football team
Got drunk
Drove to Fargo MN
Paid doctor 400 bucks to rub my boobies and stick things in a cup of pee
Got drunk
Worked while drunk
Cow rape
Worked
Party planning
Worked
Spent some money on a cheap hooker
Fell asleep while fucking her
Woke up without wallet
Began writing novel
Worked
Got drunk
Shot hooker in face
roleplayed on IRC
Worked
Ate some chinese
Got drunk
Sent condolences to Chang's family in China
Worked
Got drunk
Wrote papers
Worked
Kicked mom in face
Worked

Mmmyep. That's about it. I hoped you enjoyed your ride today on Angry Pipkin airlines. I'mma go to fuckin' bed.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Satan in my head,
He tells me to kill sometimes,
And watch CNN.

Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	WHEEEEEEEHA!!!!
Time:	2:38 pm.
Mood:	bouncy.
Music:	None.

Quick update to all you Hosers out there about the upcoming April 6th party of DOOM:

I will be at the hotel at 3 on Saturday. This does not mean that you have to be there. It's just when *I* will be there. I will be around the lounge or pool area, and if you show up, all you have to do is go to the front desk, ask for 'Annie' or where I might be, or just search desperately for the woman in the ninja costume. (the phone number there is also 612-339-9311)

It is preferred that people who ARE showing up tell me AHEAD of time. Like by a few days. Also, when you are showing up, try to make it there BEFORE six. If you cannot, make sure I know.

We want to start thinking of dinner ideas, and this is why there is the 6 o'clock deadline. I don't want a bunch of hungry people eating other hotel guests!

After dinner, we are free to think of what else might be fun..or we can go swimming in the pool and die of stomach cramps.

Munchies are highly welcome if you decide to bring them, plus, donations of $$$ would be nice too (hotel rooms are not cheap). It is NOT mandatory, however..I am too fucking nice.

I have a total of two rooms, with 3 beds and one couch total. This means if I have a large number of people staying, some may have to sleep on the floor (Or man pile as the case may be). Or if you can cough up 27 dollars, I would be happy to try and get ANOTHER room(not guaranteed). So if you plan on sleeping over, bring a blanket or something for yourself.

Sunday morning, there is In-hotel breakfast until 10am, so no worries there, but we SHOULD all be awake for a good time to attempt to hit the museums.

Questions? Comments?

Timmy fell 8 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Mr. Ruckaway is a giant freak-penis with legs and a wig.
Time:	11:39 pm.
Mood:	angry.
Music:	Thrill Kill Kult - Martini Built for Two.

God. I'm not one to angst, piss, and moan, but son-of-a-bitch I really feel like it today. I'm so gosh-darned drained and pissed off that I can't even think of a proper way to start this fucking Live Journal entry.

( Cut for your viewing pleasure )

Okay..now that that's over with, I'll mention a few stupid things about this party that I shouldn't be having.

HEY. YOU. READ THIS:

Date:
April 5th through the 6th (Saturday and Sunday)

The Dilly:
I've bought two rooms for the party to be..considering it's supposed to be an all-nighter. We're gonna check in, hopefully, around 3pm (Open for other suggestion) and proceed to make noise like mating howler monkeys until it's bedtime. Food will be had, since it's downtown Minneapolis and there are countless places (Aside from that, we can get a shuttle to anywhere we can not walk). There's a swimming pool, a hot-tub (for kinky sex) and even a bar for drinking. There should be much fun on the 5th.

The 6th, there is a plan to head out semi-early to an art museum

apoidea knows the one. I am too retarded to remember. We will terrify the elderly. It will be fun.

Suggestions:
Weird dress is highly encouraged. Weird behavior is Mandatory. This is a day where we let lose and be psycho for the sake of being psycho. No pets allowed. Drinking is acceptable, but lets keep it to a minimal level. Organized (HA!) parties are no fun when people are vomiting and passing out all over the place. Sex is highly discouraged unless you allow everyone else to watch.

Contact Information:
If you're reading this, you probably have some way of getting ahold of me. If you're a brainless mental patient, my e-mail is Pipkin@Pipkin.com . My AIM name is AngryPipkin and my ICQ number is 5580603. If you wanna be a smarty, and make Pipkin love you..just leave me a comment in this post mentioning that you would like to attend Pipkin's April 6th Party of DOOM (TM). Leave me an E-mail, phone number, vial of human blood..anything, just so I am able to keep in touch and give updates when needed.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Joke's on the Bitches!
There ain't no Haiku today!
I fooled you so bad!

Thank you, drive through.

Timmy fell 25 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Holy shit!!
Time:	11:22 am.
Mood:	exhausted.
Music:	Elastica - Never Here.

The snow has begun to melt, the sun has been briefly shining, and the sky is filled with mist. Birds sing to each other in the hopes of sweet copulation, and the mud in my back yard has begun to smell like dog feces. I'm no longer cold in the night, and my hip no longer pains me to walk.

Spring is here, motha-fucka.

It is lovely. Even though I despise the cold weather that forces me indoors in most hours of the day (hah! Like I even leave the house anyway!), I was fully aware that this moment would come. People around me complain. They try to lower my warm-weather spirits (which consist of me not repeatedly punching random people in the faces) by telling me that the weather man said it's supposed to snow, or this is another warm spell.

Well; FUCK the weather man. Fuck him in his tiny, worm-infested, tight little anus! I don't care what that son of a bitch says! This is spring-time, damnit! It's March for christ's sake! Even if he tells me it's gonna freeze over and Minneapolis will turn into a post-apocalyptic, snow covered waste land..EVENTUALLY..It will warm up again!

So what's a little more extra snow? After FOUR fucking months of it, can't we Minnesotans..take a little more? You're all a bunch of pussies.

On a lighter note, Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. Everyone who reads my posts regularly, and I know at least ONE of you guys do, understands that I was in for a world full of hurt. Oddly enough, I found that the slobbering drunks pawing at me for their green beer (and water on some cases) and fake, irish drinks (like Bailyes..c'mon..you know it's made in a bathtub in some man's basement in chicago..) were nowhere near as bad as those festering, motocross PUNKS from Wisconsin. No, these wanna-be Irishmen were quite lovely. Even though they had me running back and forth, catering to their every, drunken whim, there was no insults, or glaring faces...only the desperation to be heard, and very...NICE tips.

I staggered away last night with more money in my pocket than I had acquired in wages. Is that keen, or what?

An update on my April 6th idea, I've decided to host the party on the night of the 5th (Saturday). It will be at the Quality Inn in downtown minneapolis, just a block from the Greyhound station. Costumes will not be required, but encouraged. Look your weirdest, folks. The plan is to spend the night being psycho, and the next morning (The true holiday) the same. "Hell's Kitchen" will be eaten at, as well as any other suggestions that may pop up.

I may send out invitations, but anyone who actually has a PLAN on coming, would be encouraged to tell me so, just so I have an idea of how many people will actually show up for the event.

Well..I'm done.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I am so tired,
Head pounds from my lack of sleep.
Where is my coffee?

Timmy fell 6 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Now with more sodium!
Time:	10:10 pm.
Mood:	mellow.
Music:	Aphex Twin - Fingerbib.

After three days of being held in captivity, I am once again able to update. My dear loving friends (Syndicate) have finally released my bonds, pulled the 12 inch rubber cock out of my mouth, surgically removed the pencil from my palm, and kicked my arse out of their floating umbral space ship.

I spent the rest of my time floating in space and writing out a list of things I've done ever since I was the age 11 for some faceless Canadian government men. Despite what the tabloids say, that wasn't particularly fun.

Never before have I gone through so much mental and physical torture for man-love. Sex was never an important thing to me when I was younger..but no, now I have to be addicted to a fleshy, warm, love-muscle wielding business man in another country. Sex overpowers my brain, causing me to do horrible things, like work for a living..and file paperwork. Hell, I'm even going to the Gynecologist soon. I have to keep my snatch in working condition!!

For all you suckers who've found yourselves not able to get enough of me; I changed my AIM name to 'AngryPipkin'. Be my friend, fucker.

take the taboo quiz.
and go to mewing.net. nothing is taboo there.

I am planning horror for the date of April 6th. So far, ideas come down to a large hotel room, booze, and maybe some ripple chips. This is supposed to be a HUGE event, and thusly, I have begun planning a month ahead of time. I noticed that every time I leave shit open for suggestion to you piles when it comes to holiday planning, nothing gets done. I will CONTINUE to plan on my own, but still ask if anyone will make it worth their while to actually show UP if I throw a party.

Questions and Comments will be appreciated.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Smackin' my bitches,
Cappin' niggas for da Hos,
Hardcore Pimpin' life.

Timmy fell 9 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	And My Rage Grows
Time:	11:02 am.
Mood:	irritated.
Music:	Praga Khan - Eyeless in El Paso.

How do I update my livejournal when I am full of hate?

A never ending work load has transformed me into a creature not unlike my seething, human-loathing fluffy wuffy furball kitty-poo named Lenore (I wuvvvvvs her!). On the outside, I purr, nuzzle, rub, and even lick people, but if they get too close; RAAAAAAAAGH!!!

Contemplation over quitting one of my jobs has occurred, and while I will have much more free time for learning to drive, something inside me tells me that it's really not worth it. Sure, back-seat sex will rule. Even hitting old ladies on crosswalks so I can steal their purses..but my social life has died like a fish being smacked around with a Louisville. My personal problems with TWO people..seems to have destroyed things completely.

What the fuck?

I am really starting to loathe 'social groups'. These oozing collectives of mindless folk all attached to one ruler supreme really rubs me the wrong way. If you have a difference of opinion, you are cast out like scum. The others you've found yourself favoring around you turn backs on you until they themselves walk the plank.

I wonder if I hang around the wrong kind of people.

I'm trying to find an interesting way to end this post to make up for all the horrible angst I gave in the first place, but my mind is drawing a blank. Ugh. I need a drink.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Something in my mind,
Whispers secrets of unknown,
Telling me to kill.

Timmy fell 12 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Hlao-rah U Migfiggacil.
Time:	1:36 pm.
Mood:	depressed.
Music:	Mindless Self Indulgence - Dicks are for my Friends.

Well well well. Here I am.

In the past four days, I managed to work a total of 35 hours. Probably more, but I am too tired to add properly. I am sitting here, grooving to basey music from Hellsing, relaxing as much as I can before I have to go out into the world, and beat swingers off of me with a stick. Should I prove successful, I will have many $$$ to bring back with me..that, of which, makes all this bullshit worth it.

On Wednesday, I got to work with an old 80's band called Dokken. And while I really have never heard their music, the people themselves were pretty fun to serve liquor to. They drank a lot, made a bunch of lewd comments, and Don Dokken told me my red chucks were awesome, and that only certain, cool kinds of people wear them (He was wearing black ones). I must be cool to an 80's rock band. Does that make me lame by default?

Since I really don't want to tell anyone too much more about my week..I think I will stop here before someone ends up shooting me in the face.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I can't take it back,
I still remember his taste,
And now I crave blood.

Mmmyep.

Timmy fell 4 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	If soymilk comes from soy, does that mean that beans have nipples?
Time:	12:53 am.
Mood:	lazy.
Music:	L7 - Snake Handler.

I can't believe I just shelled out $60 for web space and e-mail address. Wow. Being so magnificently Pipkin is costly. I am just glad I am bad-ass enough to be able to afford it. Now, if I could only get my grubbies on the name 'Pipkin' for Live Journal, and perhaps AIM..no one could stop me. NO ONE!!!!

I am tired and I should go to bed. But..something inside of me has decided that I don't think such a thing is a good idea. I think its the same part of me that convinces my body that eating only once a day is good for you. It may also be the voice in my head that tells me to drink every single fucking day, too.

Common sense in my mind has had the snot kicked out of it lately. I think this part of my consciousness has been replaced by a massive, overloaded work drive. I will work myself to death if someone doesn't come along and slap the living fuck out of me (figuretively...put your fuckin' hand down,

apoidea!).

Or maybe all I need is a little Deep Dickin'.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Drop what you're doing,
Flip out like never before,
Ninja party time.

Timmy fell 8 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Reality is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
Time:	11:58 pm.
Mood:	moody.
Music:	My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult - Princess of the Queens.

Well well well. I figured sooner or later, you'd all come crawling back. None can resist the presence of Pipkin for long.

It has been a week since I've updated, and now here I sit, taped to my computer chair with tunnel vision, and suffering horrible bowel explosions at gunpoint. They'd told me, that if I did not update, unspeakable things would begin to happen..and while I actually may welcome the hollow-point bullet from the nickle plated .45 blasting it's way through my skull, I do understand that reality as we know it (hahahahahahahaha!) is at stake.

I am at a real loss as to what I should be writing about. This week has left me quite run down and tired. It's not that I don't enjoy countless hours of grocery store humiliation, and people snubbing me when I ask for ID (Heh, like I care of they leave. Anyone stuck up enough to flip out when I card their 50 year old hip-replacement needing ass, probably isn't going to tip me anyway..), it's just that I have not been able to enjoy the finer things in life. I cannot drink when I want, there are no more puppies to be whacking about with golf clubs, I am unable to purchase a new computer, and hell..even my pet stalker has begun to go after a someone else.

Through my lack of enjoyable social life, I have begun to degrade into the self-loathing creature you see here. Not to say, that I was not self loathing before, mind you. All the sweet $Bling$ I have been making at my workplace is going to waste, simply because it sits in the bank. I should go out. Take a mini vacation. Buy me some whores, and some grade A liquor, and hell..maybe even a beach ball. I could use a party. A week-fuckin-long party. Then I could spend the next week picking peanuts out of my carpet! Fuck yeah!

Now, I just have to find some time! *mandatory squinty face*

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Because of my want.
Great things are happening here.
Weaving with my will.

Hahaha..suckers! You thought it'd be something funny, didn't you?!

( Quizzes, bitches. )

Timmy fell 3 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	El`Rancho Ovulate.
Time:	4:00 pm.
Mood:	rejuvenated.
Music:	Praga Khan - My Mind is my Enemy.

It's always nice to fall off the face of the earth every once in a while..And while my adventures in space probably weren't as interesting as one may hope for me, I have, at least, gained some experience out of the whole mess. I now officially hate people from Wisconsin. Every single fucking one of them. May they all die horrible firey deaths in their land of cheese and beer.

Alas, I am back..and full of cynicism and ice cream, just like everyone wants me to be. I am also topless as I am putting on my work uniform and venturing back out into the land of Corporate Hell. Wish me luck. This, I COMMAND.

I also must thank

jojofries, for helping me through this bout of Quiet with a healthy amount of insane rambling over the evil entity that is known as AIM.

There is not enough time for Haiku.

Timmy fell 14 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	M&M's for Breakfast!
Time:	12:06 pm.
Mood:	horny.
Music:	Garbage - I think I'm Paranoid.

Since everyone else has decided to post HORRIBLE THINGS NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO READ ON L.J., so will I: This morning I woke up feeling like I was giving birth. Then I realized it was just the most horrible menstrual cramps in exsistance. I still feel as if I will die. Every time I have my period, part of me hopes that it's somehow a miscarriage so I could have my own little pet fetus in a jar. I would name him Jesus. I haven't gotten laid since late December.

On a lighter note, I am very close to meeting my goal. I have over $500 in my Computer Fund (A Crown Royal bag stuffed with cash somewhere in my bedroom), and I see the amount growing quickly. Somehow, I've managed to make over $50 in the past two days of bartending dispite the fact that I have only sold about $120 worth of drinks. I mean, fuck, Someone gave me seven bucks for delivering a pizza last night! It must be my fabulous ass.

I work Valentines day. And while this upsets me because I cannot sit on my ass and make kissy-faces into the phone at my Mate, I WILL have a bar full of drunken idiots who are slobbering all over each other. This is a good thing. $KA-CHING!$ There is ALSO a party on Saturday. Hopefully I will have the cash for a new, improved interweb machine very soon.

( Pre Valentines Day Love )

I'm bored. I think I'll go do some laundry.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

She doesn't move much,
When I thrust, pieces fall off.
Lovin' with the Dead.

Timmy fell 26 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	I like the word 'Crazy'
Time:	11:24 am.
Mood:	amused.
Music:	My head being beaten against the wall..

Crazy people never notice when other people are being crazy. It's like they huddle together, prodding each other into worse and worse bouts of craziness, slowly consuming others into their spiral of crazy-taint.

Such a thing would normally be good, but it never seems to involve happy, bouncy crazy people..like me,

apoidea,

locopuff,

jdn,

gaffeizil

freakness

jojofries, or any other person who'd masturbate while wearing a chicken suit in public, nope.

It's always those silly folks on 15 kinds of medication for their horrible bouts of depression. The kinds that think they're gifted in some fascinating way, and somehow believe that they're better than everyone else despite the fact that their friends all make fun of them behind their backs, they refuse to get jobs, they devour household pets, oh, and they can never get along with anyone over the age of 27.

I fear that an army is forming in the State of Minnesota. There are so...MANY of them. I see them everywhere. On the bus to work! Inside my work place! Standing on the street and asking me for money when I pass by! Crawling under the door to the stall I'm using in the public rest-room! It's HORRIBLE!

Soon the world will be consumed by this new, BAD form of eccentricity. People like I and those mentioned above, will become like some sort of endangered animal..held in captivity by this breeding form of man-insanity. It will be bad. Oh. So. Bad.

But NO! Break these bonds of fear! We must strike out! Slay our evil twin and reclaim our cheery mania of the land! We can bring back our time (The 80's and 90's)! We can push this twisted spawn of Goth Music and Trendy Depression back into the hole from whence it came!

Let us hold hands, my brothers and sisters! We shall be strong! We shall overcome this! WE SHALL MAKE ME STOP RANTING NOW!!!

That is all.
-Pip

Timmy fell 42 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	The ring is on the other finger.
Time:	12:07 am.
Mood:	loved.
Music:	Foo Fighters - My Poor Brain.

Sleep deprivation turns me into the person I've always wanted to be. Not to say, that I am in any way flawed, that is. Pipkin is perfect, it's a well known fact. But even those who are perfect wish they could be someone else for just a little while.

Today, I decided to be stupid.

At noon, I decided it was time to come home from work. And when I arrived there, was shocked to find that I wasn't really off work until 2:30. So, back on the bus I went, the destination Grocery Hell. I apologized profusely to my pitch-fork wielding blond bimbo boss, and got to stay till 3:30 to make up for the hour I spent at home flicking the bean on the living room couch.

I also managed to call

apoidea a stupid idiot while at the exact same time, trying to walk up the 'down' escalator at Southdale. It was a movie-moment. We laughed until blood started gushing out our noses, and were promptly escorted out of the building for smearing it on people.

Jesus. Some folks just have no sense of adventure.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

It's something I love,
Blood pouring over my skin,
Self amputation.

Timmy fell 11 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Useless quiz of DOOM.
Time:	12:38 am.
Mood:	nerdy.
Music:	The Offspring - Not the One.

A survey blatantly ripped off from

phi_one_zero who stole it from

celtic4.

1. Are you male or female?
You want sex with a rubber doll.
Baby, I don't agree with that at all.
Sex Bomb Annie,
That's her name,
With her you like to play your dirty little games!
Lords of Acid: Rubber Doll

2. Describe yourself:
3 O'clock on the dot!
Time to cruise for 8th Graders!
Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later.
Reruns of Rerun so "What's Happening?"
Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again.
Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy,
Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty.
Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it.
Go through "National Geographic" and draw panties on the natives.
So I like to dance naked in front of my pets,
But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S.
Playin' spin the bottle with my mom!
I watch "Cops" with no pants on!
Bloodhound Gang: Mope

3. How do they feel about you?
Well I have shrinks that will not rest
With their endless Rorschach tests.
I keep telling em that I think they're out to get me.
They ask me if I feel remorse,
And I answer, "Why of course!"
"There's so much more I could have done if they'd let me!"
Now it's Rorschach and Prozac, and everything is groovy!
La la la la! La la la lie!
Mamma often told me that we all gotta die!
Nick Cave: The Curse of Millhaven

4. How do you feel about yourself?
I'm alone in my room.
Just me and myself.
Me and my gorgeous body,
And my lusty brain.
Lords of Acid: (I forgot the name of this one)

5. How do you feel about life?
I want to be as big as a mountain,
I want to fly as high as the sun.
I want to know what the rent's like in heaven.
I want to know, where the river goes.
STP: Where the River Goes

6. What's going through your mind right now?
Draw down the moon on this city scum born.
Where the painful sensations are mindless and torn.
The absence of windows is making them stir.
Tragedy chance, the will of the pure.
My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult: The Velvet Edge

7. What would you rather be doing?
Tonight we Murder.
Who?
Why?
Murder.
ALSO a MLwtTKK song.

8. Describe how you feel about the person you love:
Let the sun beat through the clouds,
Let me kiss you on the mouth.
All my childhood toys with chew marks in from a smile.
Let me hold your syrup close to mine.
Let me watch you, Hollywood and Vine.
And I want you like the movie, touch me now.
I love you crazy, just keep on.
I love you madly, just keep watch.
You wipe my lips,
You turn me on.
My attentions are turned to you.
R.E.M.: You

9. Describe how you love:
Dance the dance of lovers,
I don't need no other,
To ride the waves of pleasure and pain.
Come on boy obey me,
Lick my boots to please me.
Maybe I will loosen your chains.
Lords of Acid: The Power is Mine

10. Share a few words of wisdom:
If you ever need anything,
Please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.
I'm too busy acting like I'm not naive.
I've seen it all,
I was here first.
Nirvana: Very Ape

Timmy fell 13 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Ninjas are cool. And by cool, I mean totally sweet.
Time:	10:14 am.
Mood:	hyper.
Music:	Soundgarden - Jesus Christ Pose.

I successfully saw and taped the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cartoon this morning. There are not many things that will get me out of bed at 8:30 am against my will. In other words, I was totally hyped.

I was thrilled about Masters of the Universe, but when I saw it, was highly disappointed (that doesn't keep me from watching it, however) but TMNT impressed me. A lot.

It was not full of cheese. It was not full of stupidity. I cannot remember much about the old show, but from what I see this has the potential to be better (If I won't get slaughtered by my ninja brethren for saying so..). Michaelangelo continues to be my favorite, and I am so very pleased with how they potrayed his relationship with Raphael. (he kept kicking the crap outta Mikey) This is totally radical. I am so happy!

Thank you, Fox. You are now forgiven for totally butchering Escaflowne.

On a lighter note, I am trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with Japanese people. Shows about Cards that make food come alive so you can battle with it?! I'm not normally this confused, but WHAT THE HELL?!

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Hidden in darkness,
Wailing like nothing before,
Ninja are the best!

Timmy fell 20 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Badlife.
Time:	9:54 pm.
Mood:	irritated.
Music:	Aphex Twin - Peek 824545201.

Heh.

I have come to realize that the mornings that start off completely perfect will ultimately come crashing down into some of the worst, soul-sucking, craptacular days ever.

I woke up this morning, completely refreshed. I'd managed to sleep for a good 5 hours without waking up from a nightmare, or to urinate, vomit, sneeze, fight off pirates, or anything else that usually wakes me up in the morning.

I ate food. I took a crap. I got out the door with enough time to catch the bus and sit around drinking coffee before my shift started. I talked to the sushi guy and ate jam on warm toasty bread. I looked to the ceiling, with the florescent lights shining down upon me, and I was glad to be alive. It was like someone slipped a valium into my Grape Nuts, causing me to feel like Barbie for a few hours, and I loved every minute of it.

But the fact remains that I was at work, and one can only suck cock with a giant smile on their lips for so long. So, needless to say, somewhere between forced humiliation and every day activities, something went horribly wrong.

My mood dropped like a drunken sailor...but doing what I do at Lunds, that's not horribly surprising. I was hungry, and lacked appropriate funds to eat with. My friend Holly thinks she might be pregnant. I haven't had a drink in HOURS. All these factors led to turning me into the seething ball of hate that I am now. But, at least I am happy about it.

Tomorrow should be interesting. I will actively avoid EVERYONE (

apoidea excluded..Psst. I have $1,500 in my bank account. If you're not going to be anally raping furries in a dirty hotel room, wanna go see a movie with the Pipkin? She's rich. She'll be your sugar mamma, baby.) so I may get in some much needed video game and Pipkin *ahem* alone time *ahem* in.

That being said, I shall now curl into the loving arms of my sweet bottle of vodka. Maybe if I am good, I can challenge my sexual object to a game of long-distance..uh...chess.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Dropping to my knees,
Thick claws drawn across my throat,
Blood for the Archon.

Timmy fell 11 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Watashi no name wa Zou desu.
Time:	12:41 am.
Mood:	cynical.
Music:	Lords of Acid - Do What You Wanna Do.

My eyes are burning and some sort of skin infection is slowly devouring my hands. I mean, I knew I had a soap allergy, but I guess it's getting worse. I figure that in a few short months, I will have to avoid the bath all together. While I would gain a lot in the way of convenience and time, I won't be quite as charismatic as before. But then again, I have PMS, so it's not like I am very charismatic as it is anyway. Fuck you all.

Neh. I'm tired of talking about work, so I won't. I'm also pissed off about something, but since it doesn't have much to do in the way of anal sex or anything else equally amusing, it isn't worth my time and finger movement.

I should try to draw again..or maybe come up with a half-way decent idea for some live journal icons that

apoidea is going to make for me for that night of passionate sex on friday. *wink* Hey there Lightbulby, I know you're reading this...*smooches*

Hm..yes. Becoming useful soon would be a very decent idea. Maybe I'll clean my room or begin growing a colony of sea-monkeys or something. Brine Shrimp are cool. I mean, they're not just fish food, but amusing little pets you can put in urine samples at the doctor's office..or grow in mini perfume bottles and wear around your neck. Plus, if you forget to feed them for a month, they live because they just swim around and eat their dead. I just gotta wonder if you can make scampi out of them. Would they REALLY go nicely with cocktail sauce?

I think that's enough for the night.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Keeper of my Heart,
Lover of my cold body,
My Necrophile.

Timmy fell 2 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	A glass of milk for Zou
Time:	1:10 pm.
Mood:	rejuvenated.
Music:	Aphex Twin - To Cure a Weakling Child.

Blimey.

Not much to say at the moment, but I am filled with the desire to update my cute little bitch of a journal..much to the amusement of my screaming fans.

The week has been flying by pleasantly, and I am filled with joy about my new job. Working at Lunds has become like trying to masturbate with a splintered piece of balsa wood..in other words, I am terribly sick of pulling shards of wood from my hamburgerized pussy. I like this bartender thing. It's a great conversation starter! 'Course..so would my pussy. Hrrmm..

Speaking of pussy, the concept of getting laid has become very appealing..not that I am inviting anyone to help me with that, mind you. Being a sexless prude has also become a favorite past time of mine. Bitches.

Uhh..though thankfully wit seems to be with me today, an idea of anything interesting to post about is not. So, I will leave you all with a bunch of pointless quizzes:

( Urusai, Kono Bakayaro! )

Yum.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Timmy's lost his legs.
Mauled stubs bleed like a fountain.
Fishing accident.

Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Rant #3,673
Time:	6:19 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.
Music:	Bloodhound Gang - Right Turn Clyde.

I've come to remember the reason why I didn't want to have a live journal in the first place.

I'm not one to puke, angst, and moan on my little text-based friend, and if I do, I put it in such vague wording that no one really has any idea what I am talking about. Yet, it seems that every time I click to read comments to someone's post, I am constantly being pounded with people patting the backs, and wiping the eyes of those who do angst and moan.

What the hell?

Do people create their own journals just so they can sit around feeling sorry for themselves with all their friends? Where did all these yes-men come from, who completely look past the fact that someone is being a complete psychic vampire and/or whiney bitch, only to tell them how sorry they feel for them?

I click on these peoples' live journals, and I continue to see the same thing. Paragraph after paragraph of boring, mopy whining, and people commenting with more boo-hoos.

Maybe this is the reason there are so many depressed and fucked up assholes out there. When people are sad, they sit around looking for other people to be sad with..or more things to complain about, instead of turning to face the sunshine.

Granted, people will complain to me that "live journal is a place for me to put all my depressed moments into text!", but fuck! Who needs to look back on their life and see how fucking pathetic they were? And furthermore, WHY do you have to drag your friends kicking and screaming into it? What good does feeling sorry for yourself do? Why have people look down on you as something to pity? It's like having someone sperm in your face instead of just fucking you! It's stupid and degrading!

I'm gonna go drink summore vodka now.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Come into my room,
I have plans for the children,
Lust for dirty sex.

Timmy fell 32 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Party On Dude!
Time:	11:28 pm.
Mood:	mischievous.

Aliens have kidnapped me and stolen my brain. Now, my body functions by being hooked up to an old lawn mower motor, and fed by a steady stream of watered-down corn syrup via I.V.. It's pretty fuckin' cool.

Today, I basked in the glory of horrible porn, chinese food, stolen Invader Zim, and emergency brain surgery. All in all, my day was quite exciting and fulfilling. I even managed to get out of the house and buy myself a gallon of milk!

In other news, I have come to the conclusion that cigarettes will make me money. While working at my new job, I must have had at least 40 people ask me for the damned cancerous things..so I've decided to go ahead and buy myself a pack of them. My experiment, is to give them out to people who ask for them, and see what kinds of tips I get in doing so. I figured I could sell the little shits for 50 cents a pop, but doing that as a bartender might get me into losing my job very quickly. So I'll just hand em out for free..hopefully it will pay off.

Not much else to babble about..here's a Haiku.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Jesus in my bed,
He tells me my ass is tight,
Anal blasphemy.

Timmy fell 16 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Subject:	Shoobity doo!
Time:	12:05 pm.
Mood:	cheerful.
Music:	Elastica - Car Song.

INCOMING TRANSMISSION:

Greetings and salutations. This is your lord and emperor Madam Pipkin sending an important update.

Last night, somewhere between playing video games, drawing a naked tiger woman, and romping off into the world of government to spend 100 fucking dollars on a passport, I managed to fill out an application.

I didn't have to go to tending school like I was planning, and I didn't have to beg OR suck cock. Yet somehow, I managed to land a job that is like a dream to me. I'm beginning to wonder if I've suddenly come across some good luck. If so, please don't let it end any time soon.

To make a long story short: Besides the job of a filthy wart working as a cashier at a grocery store fit to serve the needs of old, senile Richfieldians, I also offer overpriced liquor to drunken hotel guest who want to see what color panties I'm wearing under my skirt. I've always wanted a job where I could whore myself out for cash without actually giving up any sweet pootie, and this is about as close as I can get without being a stripper.

Now, I can shake my rump and giggle a lot..and get PAID for it! YEAH!

On a lighter note, I've actually managed to draw something recently. I wish I had a scanner so I could show it to everyone before sending it off on it's way to the merry land of Canadia, but since I don't, I'll have to hold

apoidea up at knife-point, forcing her to scan it for me.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Flames rise around me,
Curling smoke and deadly heat,
Toking up crack rocks!

That is all. Pipkin out.

END TRANSMISSION

Timmy fell 19 times / Push Timmy down the well!

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Sleek and dark with style,All of my friends are jealous,For I am ninja.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Satan in my head,He tells me to kill sometimes,And watch CNN.

Neighborhood children,They come to me for candy,And I love them so.On a lonely night,I go to see my children,Nuzzled in their beds.Quiet and so dark,Just a little bit dusty,Inside my crawlspace.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Joke's on the Bitches!There ain't no Haiku today!I fooled you so bad!

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I am so tired,Head pounds from my lack of sleep.Where is my coffee?

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Smackin' my bitches,Cappin' niggas for da Hos,Hardcore Pimpin' life.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day

When I think of you,I can't stop touching myself,In front of my friends.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Something in my mind,Whispers secrets of unknown,Telling me to kill.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I can't take it back,I still remember his taste,And now I crave blood.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Drop what you're doing,Flip out like never before,Ninja party time.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Because of my want.Great things are happening here.Weaving with my will.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

She doesn't move much,When I thrust, pieces fall off.Lovin' with the Dead.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Rotting in the sky,Sharpened pole through private parts,Medieval Torture!

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

It's something I love,Blood pouring over my skin,Self amputation.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Hidden in darkness,Wailing like nothing before,Ninja are the best!

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Dropping to my knees,Thick claws drawn across my throat,Blood for the Archon.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Keeper of my Heart,Lover of my cold body,My Necrophile.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I can't stop feeling,That someone's coming for me,Paranoid schitzo.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Timmy's lost his legs.Mauled stubs bleed like a fountain.Fishing accident.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I want to touch you,Two become one on this night,In hot ninja sex.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Come into my room,I have plans for the children,Lust for dirty sex.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Jesus in my bed,He tells me my ass is tight,Anal blasphemy.

Pipkin's Work Haiku:

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Flames rise around me,Curling smoke and deadly heat,Toking up crack rocks!

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Painted red like blood,Swollen for my throbbing joy,Mommy's blow-job lips.

Sleek and dark with style,
All of my friends are jealous,
For I am ninja.

Satan in my head,
He tells me to kill sometimes,
And watch CNN.

Neighborhood children,
They come to me for candy,
And I love them so.

On a lonely night,
I go to see my children,
Nuzzled in their beds.

Quiet and so dark,
Just a little bit dusty,
Inside my crawlspace.

Joke's on the Bitches!
There ain't no Haiku today!
I fooled you so bad!

I am so tired,
Head pounds from my lack of sleep.
Where is my coffee?

Smackin' my bitches,
Cappin' niggas for da Hos,
Hardcore Pimpin' life.

When I think of you,
I can't stop touching myself,
In front of my friends.

Something in my mind,
Whispers secrets of unknown,
Telling me to kill.

I can't take it back,
I still remember his taste,
And now I crave blood.

Drop what you're doing,
Flip out like never before,
Ninja party time.

Because of my want.
Great things are happening here.
Weaving with my will.

She doesn't move much,
When I thrust, pieces fall off.
Lovin' with the Dead.

Rotting in the sky,
Sharpened pole through private parts,
Medieval Torture!

It's something I love,
Blood pouring over my skin,
Self amputation.

Hidden in darkness,
Wailing like nothing before,
Ninja are the best!

Dropping to my knees,
Thick claws drawn across my throat,
Blood for the Archon.

Keeper of my Heart,
Lover of my cold body,
My Necrophile.

I can't stop feeling,
That someone's coming for me,
Paranoid schitzo.

Timmy's lost his legs.
Mauled stubs bleed like a fountain.
Fishing accident.

I want to touch you,
Two become one on this night,
In hot ninja sex.

Come into my room,
I have plans for the children,
Lust for dirty sex.

Jesus in my bed,
He tells me my ass is tight,
Anal blasphemy.

Flames rise around me,
Curling smoke and deadly heat,
Toking up crack rocks!

Painted red like blood,
Swollen for my throbbing joy,
Mommy's blow-job lips.